I am writing this on Sunday night while my family is at church without me. Yes, even Benny. (The soundtrack that plays forever in my mind when Steady Eddie takes all the kiddos off my hands all by himself is that I’m terrible for letting him do that, but I’m trying to not do guilt anymore.) I’m staring down the barrel of a new school year, beginning bright and early tomorrow morning. Boy, do I need what Sally has to say in this chapter. You see, this summer has been overwhelming for me on many, many levels. I’m completely outnumbered now, with four children under the age of ten. (Yes, I’ve been outnumbered for a while now, but now I feel outnumbered.) Steady Eddie was promoted at work back in January, so now has more responsibility. This job change has brought its own kind of stress with it. I’m feeling extremely incompetent for homeschooling this year. Emotionally, I’m a wreck, anticipating a very tough year ahead of me. I feel very disconnected from God, mostly because my time for prayer and serious Bible reading/study is all but nonexistent. My time at church is spent wrangling little boys. It’s not unusual for someone at our house to sleepwalk or sleeptalk on any given night, so nighttime (when it finally arrives) isn’t restful. I’m tired.
Just keeping it real here, friends.
Boy, do I need Sally’s wise words:
There is light to dispel your darkness if you will, first, turn to the God of light. Remember, he has not turned away from you when darkness covers your spirit; you have turned away from him. And there is nothing in the world that will “strengthen” you if it turns you away from God–not your husband, not a better life, not more money or resources, not more mature children, not anything. Only God can strengthen you to do “all things” he has asked you to do as a homeschooling mom. (212)
I have a lot I still need to do to get ready for tomorrow: a school room to finish organizing, a scavenger hunt to plan, first day questionnaires to print, games to ready, first-day-of-school cookie ingredients to locate, memory work notebooks to finally finish, etc. I think the first thing I need to do, though, is pray.
I am blogging through Seasons of a Mother’s Heart by Sally Clarkson this summer for my second annual Homeschooling Mothers’ Bookclub. You can read more about it here. Won’t you consider joining us? Here’s the link-up schedule:
- Monday, July 8–Spring, chapters 1-3
- Monday, July 22–Summer, chapter 4-6
- Monday, August 5–Fall, chapters 7-9
- Monday, August 19–Winter, chapters 10-12
- Monday, August 26–final thoughts (Notice this is one week after the last post, not two.)
- chapter 1 scripture art journal entry
- chapter 1: “Celebrating Life”
- chapter 2: “Changing My Will”
- chapter 3: “Beside Still Waters”
- chapter 4: ”Building Your House”
- chapter 5: ”Planning to Live”
- chapters 4 and 5 scripture art journaling
- chapter 6: ”Surprised by Joy”
- chapter 7: ”A Touch of Sympathy”
- chapter 8: ”Freedom from Guilt”
- chapter 8 scripture art journaling
- chapter 9: “Living with Discipleship”