There is a beautiful reality called imperfect progress. The day I realized the glorious hope of this kind of imperfect change is the day I gave myself permission to believe I really could be different.
So often when reading books like this (which I admittedly haven’t done in a long time) I end up feeling condemned rather than hopeful for change. This book left me feeling like change is something that can even happen for me, and given the volume of “unglued” moments I’ve had (usually with my children, let’s be honest), that’s remarkable. Not only do I feel hopeful, but on the flip side, I also feel like change is necessary. Hopeful about a necessary change? I’ll take it!
What even led me to read this book to begin with is that I have a love-hate relationship with my emotions, and honestly, lately it has been more of a hate-relationship. I feel things intensely, and that usually results in a rather intense reaction (or at least internalization) of whatever I’ve experienced. I feel like this is an issue that God has been dealing with me about, and yet it’s almost like I still don’t know where to go with it. I have too often felt like Proverbs 25:28 describes me to a T:
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
I know I’m often like that broken down, wall-less city, but what do I do about it? TerKeurst offers Biblical insight into why we often lose our cool, and the simple fact is that sometimes it’s because we lack faith in believing that God is in control and working the situation out for our good and His glory. My own personal Achilles heel is when I’m stressed out, and that’s where I’m living most days lately. This book offered me hope that even in the middle of homeschooling and raising four children, I don’t have to stay where I am. I don’t have to be a broken down city.
The biggest problem I have with books like this is that I forget what I’ve learned even before I really need to put it into practice. What do you do to make what you’re reading stick?
I give Unglued a Highly Recommended.
What sort of change does this book advocate? I ask because sometimes I think we take it too far and think that we’re supposed to be perfectly controlled and never show our feelings.
I don’t think God wants us not to feel, even with our children… My parents only argued twice in front of me, and both times I thought it was the end of their marriage because I’d never seen any emotional ripples between them. Unrealistic! It didn’t do me any favors.
Even God is emotional — quite emotional in the Old Testament especially. Moses is depicted as talking him back down off the ledge more than once.
This is not preaching, just thinking “out loud.” 🙂 You’ve touched on something I think about, too.
I’ve had this on my radar for a while now. Thank you for sharing not only about it, but how you are internalizing it, as well.
I am currently reading The Fruitful Wife and find it convicting while encouraging. 🙂
(Your school room in your other post is quite nice…as are the clever candles!)
Jaw drop. I also feel things intensely and my responses and therefore intense and not measured. So I know what you are talking about exactly. It’s something I’ve been spending quite a bit of time thinking about of late. I agree with Janet that emotions need to be shared (after all, we were created with them!) but I also do not believe I go about sharing them in a way that makes it easier for people to understand what it is that I’m saying. Because it’s always deeply felt and expressed in the same manner. (Coincidentally, I like blogging because I can express myself through words that cause me to slow down and think things out and it provides practice for me. I’d like to be able to express myself in person as I do in writing, more or less, and that’s a hard one for me. I’ve been focusing on moderating myself and reminding myself that even if I felt something deeply, the person I’m talking to might not have and my response needs to meet them where THEY are at instead of bringing them to where *I* am at. Sometimes. 😀 ack, it’s just hard. And I have more of a hate relationship with my emotions/expressions of them than a love-hate. Working on this. It’s HARD work!
So this book sounds excellent, is pretty much what I’m saying. 🙂
I’ve seen and wondered about this book. I’m also not one to jump on a bandwagon, even a Christian one, and I haven;t read this author yet though I have one book by her. This sounds encouraging and practical.
I know what you mean about not being able to retain what I read to put into practice. I don’t know how to improve on that -when you find out, let me know. 🙂 I do underline, put little sticky tabs on certain pages, etc., but it still doesn’t stick.
Just read your post for a second time. Maybe it’s time to read the book?
I’m laughing that I am now here for a 3rd time with a question.
Is it worth owning and rereading or should I just borrow it from the library?
Annette–Ha! I’d say borrow it. You can always buy it after the initial read is it’s that valuable to you. I got a lot out of it when I read it, but I don’t know that it’s one I’ll HAVE to revisit. (I tend to gush when I first read a book.)